


Vine Fic

by neonkorok



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, I’m so sorry, Linked Universe, Vines, enjoy, gratuitous vine references, it’s literally only vines, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 07:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonkorok/pseuds/neonkorok
Summary: It was a chaotic morn in the camp of the Links. The group of Heroes was attempting to eat their food, but it seemed as though some unlawful force of nature was meddling and causing what should have been a peaceful day to turn into something truly cursed.~~It’s literally just Vines as the dialogue idk what I’m doing here blame the discord





	Vine Fic

**Author's Note:**

> I’m…so sorry…

It was a chaotic morn in the camp of the Links. The group of Heroes was attempting to eat their food, but it seemed as though some unlawful force of nature was meddling and causing what should have been a peaceful day to turn into something truly cursed.

“So, basically, what I was thinking was–” Legend was saying, but Warrior cut him off by punching him in the face. He tipped over and off the log he was sitting on.

“Aw, fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this!” he shouted, holding his head in pain.

“Ahh!!” Wind cried, jumping to the side to avoid getting hit by his falling body. “Stop! You almost made me drop my croissant!”

“Yeet!” Wild shouted, throwing a croissant at Wind. It hit him in the forehead, falling to the ground.

He merely sighed in response, shaking his head disappointedly.

“Twilight, how are those chicken strips?” Hyrule asked.

“Fuck ya chicken strips!” Twilight shouted, throwing his plate up in the air. The chicken strips fell to the ground.

“Yote!” Wild cried, wiping a tear from his face. “Yeeted,” he sobbed, watching as ants crawled all over the food he’d so painstakingly made with love for Twilight.

“I saw you hanging out with Ravio yesterday!” Legend was saying to Warrior rudely.

“L-Legend, it’s not what you think!” Warrior said defensively.

“I won’t hesitate, bitch!” Legend cried. He tackled Warrior to the ground, and they began to tumble around.

“Can I get a waffle?” Hyrule asked, peeking over the log they were fighting behind. “Can I _please_ get a waffle?” Wild threw another croissant at him. It hit him in the head as well and fell to the ground, ants crawling all over it as well. Wild sobbed.

Four was messing with a silvery pouch in his mouth, holding it up by the straw. It fell out, and he pouted. “Hey, can you throw me another capri sun?” he asked.

Without looking, Wild reached for the nearest liquid and chucked it at him. A loud thud was heard, and he looked up to find he’d accidentally thrown the jug of fruit punch at him.

“Mothertrucker, dude! That hurt like a buttcheek on a stick!” Four shouted, grabbing at his face.

Time returned up to the group, the firewood he’d been collecting held securely in his arms.

“Hi, welcome to Chili’s!” Sky greeted.

“Ermahgerd. How lit are we my dudes?” Time asked.

“Yeet!” Wild said, gesturing for Time to come closer. He took the wood from him and placed it in his Sheikah Slate’s inventory. “Yote.” he said, nodding his head gratefully at Time.

“ROFL, that’s so McChill, brah! The McShizzle is here, and it’s litty!” Time said, patting Wild on the back.

“Yeet.” Wild muttered warily, shuffling away.

“I wanna be a cowboy, baby!” Twilight declared, standing up and hurrying into the forest. “I wanna be a cowboy, baby!”

A few minutes later, Wolfie returned from the forest.

“Rawr XD!” Time greeted.

Wind got out his pictograph box, pointing it at Time and Wolfie. “Say Hyrule!”

“I’m a giraffe!” Hyrule shouted suddenly, running in front of the lens just as Wind snapped the picture.

Wind glared at him angrily, and began cursing at him in several different languages at once. The others were all impressed.

“Twi, look, it’s the good kush!” Legend said, pointing at a Hyrule herb in the distance.

“This is the dollar store, how good can it be?” Twilight asked dryly.

Legend sighed, his humor unappreciated. He turned to find Sky passed out on the ground and smirked. He grabbed the jug of fruit punch from the ground and poured it over his face.

“Hello?” Sky asked, opening his eyes blearily.

“That was legitness.” Hyrule said, impressed.

Legend smiled at him, grateful someone was finally appreciating his talents.

“He needs some milk!” Warrior shouted.

Sky frowned grumpily, then grabbed the cooking pot Wild had used earlier and a wooden spoon. He began beating them together, making the others cover their ears.

“I can’t get no sleep ’cause of y’all!” he sang. “Y’all not gone get no sleep ’cause of me!”

“What the fuck, Sky?” Wind asked, still covering his ears.

Wolfie began to chase after Sky, who ran away in fear, dropping the pot and spoon. Wolfie transformed back into Twilight, shocking everyone as he transformed.

“Why are you running?” he shouted at Sky, who kept running. “Why are you running? You better stop! Stop!”

“Fuck you, I don’t want no ravioli!” Sky called back at him.

Ravio suddenly appeared out of nowhere. “So no head?” he asked. He slammed his boomerang down on the ground and jumped on it.

“Fuck off, Ravio! I’m not going to your fucking baby shower!” Sky shouted at him. Ravio suddenly disappeared, his very existence overwhelmed by Sky showing aggression and cursing at someone.

“Watch your profanity!” Legend said, weeping at the loss of his best friend.

“Yeet?” Wild asked, thoroughly confused by what just transpired. “Yote? Yeeted? Yeeteth?! YEET?!”

In his frenzy, he pulled a bomb out of his Sheikah Slate, and promptly blew up the entire camp.

Everyone stopped and stared at him, silence falling over the group. Wild glared at them, covered in soot from the explosion.

“You know I had to do it to ’em.” he said with finality, and the kingdom of Hyrule ceased to exist.

**Author's Note:**

> To the over _1,000????!?_ people who read this:  
1.) Thank you  
2.) Why would you do this to yourself  
3.) I’m sorry  
4.) Thank you <3


End file.
